Self Exploration

2002-10-16 | 12:18 a.m.
poSTCarD

i keep hearing this clicking in the kitchen

it sounds like type writer keys

it sounds like the keys of an old type writer

it sounds like those keys hitting on an old typewriter

so i can't explain to you this apartment in this place that you'll never visit

because it's not mine

and it's cold

because i'm cold

inside

and i thought i would have thawed by now

or at least started to melt

so you could have licked the water from my eye lids

like they do in the movies

i bought a postcard this weekend that I would mail to myself

of two people kissing

it's a hollywood kiss, one that i've never had

but it's one that i want

so i put the post card in a book

to remind me that i want it

and that i've never had it

because i used to leave things around that reminded me of things that i never had

and that's why i'm a mute.

and that's why i still can't tell anyone what hurts.

and that's why i still can't tell anyone what hurts even if what hurts is 3000 miles away.

and that's why i still can't open my mouth and tell myself why it hurt 3000 miles away...

and that's why my i's are still lowercase... my caps lock.. my caps lock is still unsure of it's charm...