yeah... i'm hearing footsteps below me and soometimes that's all I can hear_it reminds me of how different it seems to be here I think and reminds me of everything new I began here_not that I seem to know what that is quite yet... yup I'm sleeping on a floor and Now i'm doing some office work and yes i'm on the different coast but i still seem to have my problems still_only now I'm faced with a completly new one_ what have I become? and this one this one just feels odd_because I remember all of the things I used to be and when I put them away I always thought that I would get back again... but I'm not .. i don't know how to express myself to men anymorem how to have patience and be virtuous (whatever that means) and how to just take part in an evening and not be the evening and I've found that some men [man] that say they want to know, just really want to know.. well .. well, i'm speechless, and lost, very lost. and sorry to some others.

*so what happens when the old tricks don't work. And when I mean tricks I mean something like like a different sort of reality because now I don't quite know which idea to complete and which vision to complete..... because in oakland obviosuly people here are different and there isn't just a one track mind or at least not for everyone_ and those people I don't know how to deal with them.. and maybe I shouldn't have glazed over them before, because i must have before.

i must have before.

all those years I thought i was uncomfortable being naked when these last few years I'm more uncomfortable now clothed

I'm not spell checking.

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