I�m having one of those angry days like yesterday. The whole day you spend smiling and problem solving and taking blame and smiling about that blame, smiling all day long. You leave work, normally you sit in an hour of traffic just like the traffic getting to work. The one day you don�t hit an hour of traffic it�s to go to the gyno - after a day spent worrying about said appointment. The appointment brings you closer to the appointment that you�re even more worried about so that you can get the NEW and IMPROVED birth control that looks awful and while your waiting for your exam you see a larger depiction of how it�s going to look in you � LIFE SIZE and for 15 minutes you get to wonder how it�s going to get in there. So you get out of there to go to the store to pick up something for work and you call for some support and don�t get it. You get your bread and your supplies and go to tanning and get your salad and go home. You get a text message and call to offer him support and end up arguing taking two bites of the salad you wanted so badly and lie on the couch angry until 9 when your parents come home from their evening out. You talk to your father and he makes you feel better because he talks about baseball and work and things that don�t matter. Your mom comes back in the room and she asks you questions you answered earlier in the week and you answer them trying not to become angry again but they get worse and then she tells you something about patience and red flashes. Then she makes something up- some little gem of nonsense that doesn�t make sense and is just a repetition of the word patience and you turn and walk out of the room and lay on the bed thinking how worthless the night is. You switch off the TV at 9:30. You turn off the light at 10. You wake up to the phone at 11 but just listen to it ring. You wake up periodically during the night and remember your anger. You wake up to another day of forcing that smile.

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Last Five:
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PatIENce is AS PatiENCE Will - 2005-07-28