So he calls me yesterday. I�m heading out to work dressed perfect. Perfectly in professional black from head to toe, high heels, designer bag, designer sunglasses, whitened teeth, real smile, real life, real happy (some of it comes from a pill bottle and some dolls these days). I mute the vibrating ringer. It hangs up on him. I dash off to lunch with my sister. Yes- it is dashing when I am in my perfect heels with my shapeless suede bag draped over my shoulder.

I call him when I leave work, leave him a message and congratulate him on setting up his voicemail. I tell him I�ll be at the gym for the next hour and stuck in traffic after that and to call me. I get to the gym and my phone rings again- I mute my phone once again- his specialty ring- I listen to his message. He sounds sad already. I grab my gym bag and run towards nothing listening to my perfect POD. It plays the propellerheads and then the Chemical Brothers and I think to myself of that dance that he sat out that one time and I run faster and watch the news, close my eyes. Burn calories burn.

I get in my car, put on my ear piece and call him. Ask how he is. He tells me he might get a dog. Tells me I should bring The Love to visit and ski. I suggest a romantic weekend away might be nice sometime in the future. But I love the sun more than I�ll ever appreciate sun and our cold retreats are always surrounded by the warmth of his family. I ask him if he�s ever coming back and he tells me that he wants to try Colorado out for a while and that he�s tried out Massachusetts and Maine and New Hampshire. I think to myself, �No you haven�t�. He tells me she�s called and he made her cry and he feels awful for being on the other end of that and he said he can�t apologize enough to me. I tell him again, absently because I�ve told him this over beers and car rides- yelling and in whispers- �The past is gone- it was years ago- I was 18. We�ve all moved on. I am happy, I�ve been happy since then�. We�re friends now, good friends. There is nothing between us to torment you with. What I want to tell him is too harsh. Instead I tell him that to have faith, he�ll find someone that makes him really happy. I remind him that he�ll go over his minutes for the month and to email more. He laughs and says I know him so well.

We hang up

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