Self Exploration

2003-06-26 | 12:50 a.m.
DarBY

Please dont' judge me on this entry- it sucks but I needed it so I'm sitting up tonight

she drives to Texas tomorrow

and it's over

we stop living together

and I think about everything that has happened in 11 months

excluding two visits home

my life

it's so different

I have so much going on in my head

and so much going on in yours

at least I'm not travelling alone

completely

I'll always have my california cat

god things were so different here

and no one got to see them

no one saw me limit drinking

and coke

and speed

and sex

and and and and and

well you get it

and now I'm going back to a world that I don't have to have any nights alone

and my bed is smaller

and people don't wear scarfs all year round

scarfs and sandals all year

and my hair is dark

darker than it's every been

and I don't know what to do with it

because it hurts a little

to feel so different

and remeber it all

and ramble like this

and know this entry sucks

but the cat is laying on me

and I keep trying to tell him we're leaving

packing up

to be continued at a later time

but he's been abandoned one other time

so he's less than a year and he follows me everywhere

and fetches

and loves me unconditionally but he looks at me

cautiously when I type late at night

and I know we fit because after 11 months we don't trust anyone anymore

thank you catcher in the rye