waiting for this feeling to go away today

it�s awful

and it makes me sit at my desk and not be able to get up

I was fine when I came in

And then suddenly it just hit me

No one thing

It all just happened to collide

And collapse inside my head

I call the shrink and beg for an appointment and stare at the phone like these are m last moments

Each moment feels like the last

Each second tics in my head

And I begin counting� like I had before, like I had before�

1..2..3�4�5�6

I have to make sure the second hand isn�t lying

If I don�t watch it there will never be 60 seconds in this minute

And by process�.

Today isn�t a good day for me..

It isn�t the boy today.. it isn�t the essay today.. it isn�t the future.. it�s just getting thru today

I don�t want to just go home I just want it to all stop

Again

I don�t want to make myself feel better�it�s so much work day in and day out and I still have these awful days

This awful awful day

Writing isn�t helping.

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Last Five:
HappY THouGHts - 2005-07-11
PrePAid Cell PhONE - 2005-07-12
NOrTH BeaCh ConcLUsioN - 2005-07-14
An IPOD's SHuffle Can BE so CruEL - 2005-07-15
PatIENce is AS PatiENCE Will - 2005-07-28