Self Exploration

2004-02-23 | 3:56 p.m.
We hAVE flown AwAY

I�m thinking about it.

Last time in the bar

Last time we were in the bar

The beer

And the vodka

The boys

And the dancing

You drank to forget him

And you danced like you were with him

And I watched like It was slow motion

There�s you

Little you

Shaking

Needing

withdrawing

Eyes more closed than mine

Our veins burned

Your Beer in hand going to your lips every few seconds

Your voice is loud

Tough

Raspy from smoking

I am speaking to someone who is again telling me that I should not be single

My eyes shutting

Smaller and smaller with each sip or the screwdriver

My conversation is all in my head

Our friendship was having a beer in the table next to us

I think it was watching me watch you while you searched for the end of the beer

I can remember counting strawberry daiquiris and long island ice tea�s in the summer at O�keefe�s with the windows open

The air is warm and on our skin

Men talk to us

it makes us feel comfortable enough to stay

the drinks are cold

we drink into the afternoon

and fly into the night

I spoke with your ghost today

It asked me if you would ever stop the poison that runs through your bones

I looked to the sky to answer but you were flying so high I couldn�t see you

I can�t catch up to you now little girl

I kissed you good-bye when the convulsing started.