Self Exploration

2004-01-23 | 12:06 p.m.
the BLAMe GaME

You know what

I think I�m having a little breakdown today

Just a little one

Looking at those little pills again in my bag

Wondering If they�ll stop me from fearing hallways

So much for bad memories-

And I see it in my head now

That same vision

It�s three days after

And I�m at one end of the hallway

It�s still freshman year

And I�m looking down the hallway

Standing there alone

I inhale deeply because this is the first time alone in this new life

And I walk quickly since I don�t know this way (looking down, running, fear all very new)

My hands are wrapped tight in front of me

My bag is strapped to my back

It�s empty in my lungs

It�s empty in my body

And I walk trying so hard not to touch anyone

Pass anyone

Look up at anyone

Think of anyone but myself

And especially not him even though he is around me everywhere

I don�t want to occupy my own space

So I walk as quickly as I can

Through the faces

Through the hallway

But it�s not fast enough

And people brush by me

And I don�t want them to

But once again I can�t help it;

They tell me it�s not my fault