I haven't been alone in some time now

and last night

at the emo show i worked i stood there

staring at the band that i had seen two years before

watchin the kids stage dive and scream and mouth all the words

and I felt that ringing in my ears

*ladies and gentleman this is never a good sign*

for a split second I started breathing heavy and i coudl feel this warmth in my brain and I could hear this buzz

and i think I went crazy for a second

again

still

well again

but then someone tapped my should and i walked back the van and the memory died

well i forgot abotu it until i started listening to this mix tape at work

and now i'm a little nervous

because I know the beginings of it all

i just don't know rember the ends- they get a little fuzz

so much for that gran idea of thinking it was all in my head and the narcotics

i miss saturday mornings fighting about going to the temescal cafe and having the sun beam in from the windows that had no curtains onto the bed that had no sheets...

i miss laying there naked and alone but alone..with my arm hanging over the side and the off white blanket with black tattoo ink staining the center

i miss waking up over and over again without having to get up

getting up is so hard some days

i think i need to get over myself

and i think i need more sleep....

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