"The world has turned and left me here

Just where I was before you appeared

And in your place an empty space

Has filled the void behind my face..."

i was driving down 95 crying to my kanglo hat thinking of times

i was on a bus from haymarket yesterday and on an off ramp i saw green, beautiful green and closed my eyes and thought of my life a month ago

the beauty

and what have i come home to

junkies, death, thieves of my life, permuscuity and the dead end that i had been driving on because i didn't want to turn around and ask direction...

i asked you, in my own way and you drove with me a while and i nearly forgot it was a dead end

but your 3000 miles away now

or i'm 3000 miles away and i have not figured out a way in words to tell you i miss you

i come home and expect you to sit down next to me on the kitchen floor and cry with me as we go over the day

our days so different and the beer bottles in our hands half empty by the time we finish crying and laughing

it wasn't the beer and it wasn't the dreams it was the moments and there were so many of them

laying on the bedroom floor on a fouton mattress giggling about boys and wondering about the electric bill and what we were going to do next because damn it we were going to to something... happiest times in my life I tell you, happiest days

and i've traded them

for a safer job, less normalcy and the old life i was finally driving away from

tonight i picked up a hitchiker hoping it would be you but I looked next to me and saw i was just driving alone again, faithless and alone... it was all just in my head

like so many other things these days

i'm going to take a shower and close my eyes and hope when i open them there will be a palm tree outside my window and a chemist a could write bad peotry about all over again

I bought that weezer CD today and thought about that weekend I turned 23- i can still hear it and see it and we're still thrift store shopping

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