So last night I was in such a mood. Which explains why Shannon I didn�t call you back. Sorry, really. I was laying on the couch waiting for 10 to strike so I could call Shannon and then the two wild animals that seem to sleep all day and live to throw each other around all night and make lots of nice started fighting. I yelled at my cat and my mothers and packed up the blankets and called it an evening. I was asleep as soon as the blanket was over my body.

So now I�m at work thinking about all the things I should be doing�including work related things and I�m having some memories just randomly filter thru my head� nothing feels okay today and everything is frustrating me� I think there�s a list and it goes something like this:

*family � living with them and dealing with them and having them deal with me

*money- trying to save money- I have not gotten paid in a month and I have another week to go on that front and my mom is being pissed off every time I borrow money � she knew it would be hard but they said they would help me

*loney- I just am

*2 deaths in August, just like every august

*what am I doing with my life ?!?

*I�m not doing anything remotely creative these days and I have even put off making a list of things that I need to do

*I�m putting weight back on

*I�m drinking too much

*I�m having sex too much

all of the problems that I had before I left, just without psych meds. Hrm, there�s a great though for you, all of the problems, no medication. Keeps me up at night, which reminds me

*not sleeping well

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