the ceiling is staring back at me tonight- and my mind is still in the movie theatre thinking... and wondering what it was like to lay my hea on a shoulder and sniff cologne that smelled so familiar, so familiar i can see you when it lingers by me... my hand seems so empty and i think of the last time it held his- any man- and i know it was a nice day and it wa sin Oakland and we were never in love but touch- I remember touch, the kind that I save and the touching i just give away- but i miss laying my head on his chest and hearing a heart beat, feeling the heartbeat and letting it put me to sleep for a nap for the night for a moment when i can feel every second pass thru me - i can't almost remember that and perhaps that is why tonight i am lonely- and very alone- and knowing it is choice that has borught me here, and not you or him or her.. just me waiting it out knowing that i still have parts of me holding out- my hands- for him... and i stare in the mirror and take off my jewlery in this foreign place after imagining what he'd smell like if he were here- but i can't because i may not have met him yet and if i have it's been a while.

could you teach me how to sleep embraced again?

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