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2003-04-05 | 11:33 p.m. StReSSeDandTirED
WHY DO I always do this* i'm making things complicated* making things complicated* why can't i just go to sleep* why can't someone else make my decisons* i'm working at a blues club in SF and working ten hour days* i'm tired but my eyes won't close* my blankets smell like you* i blink my eyes and think of the man in the bar the other night* "you have the most amazing pupils I have ever seen, they make the blue around them shine"* that is the second time someone in a bar has mentioned something about the little black circles in my eyes* i do have nice eyes, i'm sure those reading here might agree but when someone brings it to my attention in the 'let me tell you something nice because i'm drink and i might have a chance' it burns me* please dont' soil the nice things in my life sirs at bars* i have my dads eyes* i look in the mirror and i see him and i see kate i don't see a lure to get a man to dry hump me* somethings are better left unsaid* so i've lost 40 pounds total in about 6 months, now men talk to me in bars again* fancy that* makes me think of when i put on that wieght and why* it makes me want to cut my hair again but I won't* *i'm drawing again* i'm reading like a champ* i'm stressed at work again but seeing my efforts pay off* i'm smitten again and oh don't i hate the calm before the storm* i'm thinking again of you* and yes the many wonders of my life is the make up of those before | after |