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2004-03-01 | 3:35 p.m. FreE_- StANdinG
The weekend has left me in with this bizarre thought process that I can�t even really begin to explain� but I can add a few things to remind myself when I do write about them� �you look good in that cool 80�s way� the big silver earrings.. the hair.. the outfit� getting my hair pulled on Saturday night? Doing a good job on Saturday night� working til 2:30�falling into bed at 3 I was thinking about when you told me �I liked it better when you laughed� Thinking of the reeds down in Hampton Thinking about how the snow must have felt on my eyes on the walk back to the dorm I�m finding it hard to let my mind rest I�m finding it hard not to call people I know I shouldn�t call It�s hard to not care Perhaps harder than caring I�m thinking of sex again And what it was like when I couldn�t I�m thinking of sex again Wondering why my head isn�t on the steering wheel outside my house at 3 am My eyes are sleepy today My mind is awake My body is sort of awkward and slow today- I just can�t walk as quickly as I want Why does my self worth seem to feel like it goes up whenever someone says something nice�shouldn�t I already feel good.. although compliments are nice unsolicited.. . Why did I stop doing watercolors I remember standing in my dorm room putting blond streaks in my hair alone � first semester � in that sand up mirror on the door.. I did it by candlelight�I�m sure it didn�t help my cause Where do the thoughts all go when I can think clearly and why do that come out� Stream of thought is dangerous today.
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