2004-03-01 | 3:35 p.m.
FreE_- StANdinG

The weekend has left me in with this bizarre thought process that I can�t even really begin to explain� but I can add a few things to remind myself when I do write about them�

�you look good in that cool 80�s way� the big silver earrings.. the hair.. the outfit�

getting my hair pulled on Saturday night?

Doing a good job on Saturday night� working til 2:30�falling into bed at 3

I was thinking about when you told me �I liked it better when you laughed�

Thinking of the reeds down in Hampton

Thinking about how the snow must have felt on my eyes on the walk back to the dorm

I�m finding it hard to let my mind rest

I�m finding it hard not to call people I know I shouldn�t call

It�s hard to not care

Perhaps harder than caring

I�m thinking of sex again

And what it was like when I couldn�t

I�m thinking of sex again

Wondering why my head isn�t on the steering wheel outside my house at 3 am

My eyes are sleepy today

My mind is awake

My body is sort of awkward and slow today- I just can�t walk as quickly as I want

Why does my self worth seem to feel like it goes up whenever someone says something nice�shouldn�t I already feel good.. although compliments are nice unsolicited.. .

Why did I stop doing watercolors

I remember standing in my dorm room putting blond streaks in my hair alone � first semester � in that sand up mirror on the door.. I did it by candlelight�I�m sure it didn�t help my cause

Where do the thoughts all go when I can think clearly and why do that come out�

Stream of thought is dangerous today.




Last Five:
HappY THouGHts - 2005-07-11
PrePAid Cell PhONE - 2005-07-12
NOrTH BeaCh ConcLUsioN - 2005-07-14
An IPOD's SHuffle Can BE so CruEL - 2005-07-15
PatIENce is AS PatiENCE Will - 2005-07-28


before | after