Yes I�m a bit of an exhibitionist.

But�

I�m thinking thinking thinking

About you

How we both need more sleep

How have I lived this long without connecting with someone

Instantly

Immediately

Like a flash

And how we both fit

So well

And then I think of the past�and the present....

Why have I been so nervous�

And where is this smile coming from?

And how I�m always the one wondering if it�ll be me

That cares that 51%

And you that 49%

But I guess it�ll be okay

Because I haven�t let myself be that percentage in so long

And I�m trying to be calm

Collective

cool

Like my mother told me when I was younger

Cool� calm... collective�

But

It�s hard

you show me what your kindof happy is.. and i've never experienced it.. you hold my hand when i don't reach for yours... Perhaps the hardest thing I can do right now

Is hold back

The words in the back of my throat

And the writing

And the bliss

But I do-

Just in case I need to keep that little fence up

A couple of field mines

Just in case

You try to whisper your way past me

Through me

And leave me speechless

By not leaving me

And not letting me abandon me

---

Last Five:
HappY THouGHts - 2005-07-11
PrePAid Cell PhONE - 2005-07-12
NOrTH BeaCh ConcLUsioN - 2005-07-14
An IPOD's SHuffle Can BE so CruEL - 2005-07-15
PatIENce is AS PatiENCE Will - 2005-07-28