this easter was different

and i keep resorting back to that

i can see myself looking into the car

it's 3:00 am

just got back from Dan's

we may have watched insommniac

followed by that other show we always watched

i'm sure i had stopped drinking

refusing his beers

refusing to stay over

because it was easter and I needed to get home

and i am looking outside my car

at me inside my car

studying how quickly i start crying and how softly i put my head on the steering wheel so the horn does not blow

my nose hurts

burns from the drugs

my eyes burn from the tears

my body hurts from the aging i have given it in the past year

and i am almost ready to call it a night

like all those other nights that weren't easter

so i compose myself and walk inside

and go to my bed

hoping that i will remember this feeling

the burning, the hurting, the aging

and never do it again

until tomorrow

when i do

and the next day

---

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